You can rely on the old man's money

So, I watched the debut of a new WB reality show, "Survival of the Richest". 7 blue collar "poor kids" and 7 "rich kids" pair up and compete for $200,000. First of all, calling some of these people "kids" is a stretch...... ages 29, 24, 23, etc. Secondly, the 7 "rich kids" are worth over a combined 3 BILLION dollars, so the prize money means nothing to them obviously. They are all heirs to hotel fortunes, etc.

Actual quotes from some of the rich "kids":

"Usually I like to make waitresses cry, and then when they are most upset, I sleep with them"

"What annoys me most about people who don't have money is their manners. They don't know anything about shopping or how to act in public, it's disgusting"

"I'm 23 and I can probably buy your town" (yellow pages heiress)


Hal Sparks is the host of the show. He's one of the regular commentators on VH1's "I love the..." series.
They paired up this week and had to serve food at "Medieval Times". Never eaten there....apparently they have over 1100 people at one time there to eat and watch the show. Wow.
Entertaining show so far.

American Inventor episode 3: invent with a vengeance

Okay, well maybe we'll try a little of the liveblogging thing for once. My previous so-called liveblogging was me just posting completely inane photos and offering no commentary whatsoever of the Oscars.

This time I'll give it a try for real. Though I can't really say liveblogging....more timedelayed DVR blogging.

Here we go:

The Perfect Pet Petter. This guy invented a mannequin hand that moves from side to side, to pet your dog while you are gone. The guy actually said, "just set it and forget it!". While this thing moves, the guy has recorded his voice saying over and over, "You are such a good boy! mwah mwah mwah!!! What a good boy!!". Totally freaky and gets a "no" quickly from the panel.

Next up is a gentleman with a belt that is designed to give you a full body work out by pulling cords on the belt. This could be a good one if the guy gets the resistance up. It didn't look like anything more than moving your arms in different directions while holding the cord. And the judges said it didn't offer enough resistance. But if he gets that fixed, it could be good, and he gets a "yes".

Next up is Tony Shaloub's older brother with the "sha-poopy". Which is basically a pooper scooper designed for you to hold it WHILE your pet is pooping, catching it before the feces hits the ground.

We also have an alarm clock that is designed as a bouncing ball that jumps around and away from you so that you have to get out of bed and chase it to turn it off, thus I assume, waking you up in the process.

What else do we have.....a bra specifically designed for women with breast implants, that's right a really big bra..........finger cozys "it's like a hat for your fingers", jeez I thought there was this previous invention called gloves that can cover even more than just the fingertips! The whole hand actually!

The "ToeJam". An amputed foot on your kitchen table that dispenses jelly out of the toes.......A plate that has a drop down hole to stick your drink in it.......now one of the judges has been accused that he has blood on his hands when somebody drowns because he didn't approve of his lifesaver on a rope invention.......

Now here's the emotion....past episodes have poured it on thick, luckily it's been sparse this episode.......the crying this time is about an electronic game that is designed to be educational and......fun! One of the judges says, "the name of the show is American Inventor, not American Sob Story". The man has poured $80,000 dollars into this game...for his efforts, money and tears, he gets a yes.

I kinda wish dotcom would blog this show, she's much more skilled and talented at providing commentary/critiques than I am.

South Park is on tonight!

Another boring evening...

I finally know what he's saying in a couple of these lyrics now.......

I could never understand what words he was saying, specifically the two lines that start with "Back to the howling old owl..."
It always just sounded like a bunch of jibber jabber.



So goodbye yellow brick road
Where the dogs of society howl
You can't plant me in your penthouse
I'm going back to my plough

Back to the howling old owl in the woods
Hunting the horny back toad
Oh I've finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road

Respect

Why doesn't Fred Travalena get the respect he deserves? What the heck is going on?

Rankings Return!!

So, I thought instead of ranking my friends this time based on how much I like them and value their friendship, I'd rank them based on their intelligence. From the smartest of the smart, to the completely daft and drooling. Okay, no, I'll just be ranking the 10 smartest.
And actually, I do have to say that I'm blessed to have an absurd amount of genius-like friends. All of them, each and every one, have some field, and usually much more than just one, that they are just brilliant in and know everything there is to know. Or are brilliantly talented in some way.
So, understand that I'm not ranking on just book smarts alone. I'm taking into account cleverness, wit, talent, creativity and common sense intelligence as well. It was really tough to rank you guys, but here we go....

1. Gwen

2. Trent

3. Reginald

4. Pierre

5. Camille

6. Alex (sometimes we call him Alexander the Adequate, hehee)

7. Cecil

8. Jorge

9. Boris

10. Potsy

Honerable mention in alphabetical order: Anna, Brandy, Brian (the smart one), Christie, Chuck, David, Jen, Jessica, Katie, Keith, Kelly, Krishelle, Laura, Leslie, Mandy, Melissa, Mimi, Patrick, Paul, Peter, Scott, Steve, Stephen, Schmerber and Xander.

Kids adore Micheal Myers!!!

Pogo Pandemonium

Sidewalk art

I've seen this guy's stuff before, but it's just amazing the 3-D effect he can create. I also posted a couple pictures if you were looking from the "wrong" viewpoint.

Official Gatorham2000 response post

Final 4 for the Gators!!!!

A BBC Show?

My roommate clued me into a new show on BBC America. "High Spirits with Shirley Ghostman" is a parody of pyschic shows, but the catch is, nobody knows that but us. "Shirley Ghostman" is a comedian, but everyone on the show thinks he is real. In the ten minutes I saw, he was reading the minds of people's pets, trying to do some John Edwards stuff ("does anyone here understand a tall man who was charged by a hippopotamus?"), and conducting a American Idolesque search for the next great psychic star.

If any of these people who were trying out were actually pyschic, they should have known this was all a joke.

I have my DVR now set, apparently they have aired 2 episodes so far, hopefully they will re-run. It looks like the show airs on Tuesday and Friday nights.

Ricky Gervais....simpsons/office

The British are coming to Springfield! Or at least one of them is, when Ricky Gervais, the boss man on the original U.K. version of The Office, lends his voice to this Sunday's The Simpsons (8 pm/ET on Fox), in an episode that he also wrote. As Charles, Gervais finds himself filling the role of Marge's new hubby via a Trading Spouses-type reality-show swap.
Surprised that it took this long for a Brit wit like Gervais to get his animated due, TVGuide.com asked the actor-writer how his Simpsons stint finally came to be. "I'd heard that [creator] Matt [Groening] was a fan," he tells us. "I think he saw [The Office] on a plane to or from England, before it was on BBC America, and then he bought a British DVD player so he could watch them all." Ultimately summoned to the producers' offices, Gervais says, "They knew The Office by heart, which was so incredible because [The Simpsons] is my favorite comedy show of all time. It's just stunning."

That's right: The 17-year-long (and counting) misadventures of Homer, Bart, Mr. Burns et al play big even across the pond, speaking the universal language of pointed hilarity. "If you speak to anyone in the know, and by that I mean any connoisseur of comedy, forget it, it's the best," Gervais says on behalf of himself and his fellow blokes. "It's the Beatles and the Stones. Homer is the greatest comic creation since Laurel and Hardy.

"When [The Simpsons] nails a joke, they put it to bed," he continues, adding to the heap of praise. "You might as well not visit that particular avenue of observation again because they've done it the best." (Indeed. Just ask South Park's Butters.)

Thus came the tricky prospect of finding fresh fodder for Gervais' visit. Recalling the early brainstorming, he says, "I think it was my girlfriend who asked, 'Have they done a wife swap?' I checked with [writer] Al Jean and he said, 'No, we haven't done that yet.' So I flung some ideas down." The result: Charles' upper-crusty wife trades places — meaning homes and families — with Marge. "My wife thinks she's landed in caveman times — she can't believe how uncouth Homer is — while Marge is the first woman that's been nice to me in years. I instantly fall in love and write her the most excruciating love song ever" — crooned by Gervais himself. "It's just a dreadful, dreadful attempt to woo a woman," he laughs.

As for any wink-winks to fans of The Office, Gervais says the accent he chose for Charles "was a bit of an homage to [David] Brent, just for the people who know the English version of [the show]. I didn't want to do David Brent exactly, and I was not famous enough to play myself, so I did a bit of both, really. The character is so much fun."

Speaking of The Office, Gervais just finished writing (with Stephen Merchant) an episode for Season 3 of the U.S. version, of which he is a huge fan (and on which he shares a cocreator credit). "It's so good. Steve Carell [as boss Michael Scott] is remarkable, I mean remarkable," his predecessor raves. "I watch his performance and I'm thinking, 'He's working so hard and on so many levels.' The Jim and Pam story I think hits the ground running better than we did with [U.K. counterparts] Tim and Dawn... [and] Dwight keeps growing on me."

"They've done so well, the writing is so clever, it's audacious," Gervais continues. "For American network TV, it's a really uncompromising, cult comedy. I want to say "Well done" to NBC for not panicking and watering it down. It was actually a joy to write for it.

"And the strange thing was when I was writing for those characters, I don't think of David Brent and Tim and Dawn, I think of Michael Scott and Jim and Pam," he reveals. "It just flowed."

Grandma

The grandmother of a friend I work with passed away yesterday. I had been thinking a lot lately of my grandma who passed away, about 8 years ago now. But I think about her often anyway as it is.
I only have one grandparent left, my Grandma English (mom's mom) in Illinois.

But I miss my Grandma Doup (dad's mom, she remarried) more than anything. One of my grandpa's died a few months after I was born, and the other when I was in middle school.

My Grandma Doup was the sweetest woman you could possibly imagine. And she so adored me and I loved visiting her.
Without going into all the details, I have so much pain regarding when she passed. I don't feel like I got the chance to fully let her know how much I loved her and appreciated her. Just out of college, I was planning to drive to see her on my own for once, and do it as often as possible. I previously always just saw her when the family went. I never got the chance to do this and that hurts so much.

She was so sweet and kind, that it's no wonder my dad is such a wonderful, kind, generous man. So what happenned to me? Well, I think those closest to me know that I'm pretty much a sweet person that would do anything for the people I care about, but I of course hide that as much as possible, because being sweet and nice isn't all that cool or attractive in today's world. In fact, the last girl I dated much preferred me to not be so nice to her all the time, and would make fun of a guy she dated that was totally super nice and sweet. The type that would bring flowers all the time. It disgusted her for some reason. Oh man, I digress....back to grandma.

I knew how ill she was and that she only had a short time left the last time I talked to her on the phone. She was at a hospital in Ohio and telling me I was the "greatest grandson she could ever have". I somehow kept it together and then instantly balled my eyes out like I've never done before the moment we hung up. I knew it was the last time I'd ever speak to her, and it was.

I have so much nostalgia of all the fun times I had visiting with her. Playing shuffleboard was my absolute favorite.
My other Grandma is a little more shy and distant, but I know she loves her grandchildren just as much. When I go up to Illinois, I'm the one person that still insists on staying at her house with her and driving her around and such. (everyone else stays with aunts or cousins for some reason)

To sound totally cheesy, I so hope there is an afterlife so I can meet my Grandma Doup again, as well as my grandpas that died way too soon. I'll be pissed if there is no afterlife, and then I'll write a scathing blog about it.

bumper

I've never really put bumper stickers on the back of my vehicle, though I've always liked this one.

American Inventor episode 2 (electric boogaloo)

(Yes, I made the obligatory electric boogaloo addition.)

On to this week's episode. Some of the highlights include a fart pad for your underwear, that will neutralize the horrible odor when you flatulate. And you know you do, and often...
Finally an invention that can protect the rest of us from your horrible pollution of our beautiful atmosphere.

Another invention, "bulletball". As far as I could tell, this was just shoving a little ball across a table and trying to get it past your opponent. And the guy said he quit his job, sold everything he has, including his wife's wedding ring, and he and his spouse are living in his car, all for "bulletball". I can not comprehend why all this was necessary for just a little ball, to be shoved across a table. He was told no by the panel, who told him to get his life back.

Then there was a lady who invented a clip that can fit on restroom doors where the lock is broken and keep the door shut. One of the panelist asked, in 100 trips to the restroom, how often does the problem occur? The lady said maybe 15-20, while the female panelist added that she felt it was even higher, 30-35 times out of a hundred. The male panelist said he was shocked that 30% of female restroom stalls have this problem. Now I have to kind of be shocked with him. I would say I've encountered this problem maybe once in my life. That's out of how many thousands and thousands of visits to the restroom in 31 years? Aren't guys supposed to be more rowdy and less caring of privacy than females? You would think this problem would occur more in male restrooms if at all. As I've never gone into female restrooms, I'm not saying that this isn't true, but if it is true, why is it?

Our next inventor had a blue stuff thinged called "my therapy buddy". For those Mr. Show fans out there, it looked exactly like "Pit Pat". This doll toy was designed just for adults and it says one thing, a female voice over emphasizing that "everything is going to be alllllright". The british panelest informed the guy that if he needed this blue doll to tell him that, that he would know that everything was NOT alright.

And finally we had a young boy, 12, who got a no from the panelists for designing invisible tear gas. This, if it works, is actually a good military or police invention. The thought was, that the enemy would not see it and not know to put on any kind of protection until it's too late. But the panelists wanted something they could sell to the American public. I felt bad for this kid.

I would say this show is much more satisfying than say, American Idol. Because at least there are ideas being presented, and they are not all goofy. I would say that the panelist with glasses can be a little cold hearted sometimes, but on the otherhand the show does pour on the emotion a little thick a little too often.

On a side note, I didn't start watching this show on time and now I wish I had because the following primetime episode looked fascinating. A hidden camera investigation to see how people would react in certain situations, like their taxi driver making racist comments, or two people arguing/fighting in a park. I started recording this show about 40 minutes into it, so I'll only see about 20 minutes.

Who's cooking?

NBC has unveiled the cast for Celebrity Cooking Showdown, premiering April 17. Working the stoves in tandem with the likes of Wolfgang Puck and Cat Cora will be supermodel Naomi Campbell, Days of our Lives' Alison Sweeney, country crooner Big Kenny, Tom Arnold, the Kansas City Chiefs' Tony Gonzales, rapper Ja Rule, volleyball stunner Gabrielle Reese and Miss USA 2005, Chelsea Cooley.

Little House

So how lame am I? I'm all happy that I've finally acquired all nine seasons of Little House on the Prairie. I just feel it's really quality programming and I hope my neice one day will watch them. I think one can't help growing up with better morals and values after watching this show. It seems like kids today grow up so much quicker than we did. They see reality shows and MTV, displaying the worst of human behavior on a consistent basis and it must have a negative influence somewhat.

I wish I could visit the 1950's. Everything seemed like it was pure and wholesome and sweet and clean. Even the bad element I wouldn't think were really all that bad. Kinda like "Biff" from Back to the Future maybe? I wouldn't think that adults feared going to places. Yet today, there are places even I avoid because of an influx of punks.

I wish it was mandatory for kids today to watch Little House as they grow up. I fear that the absense of shows like this has a negative impact on future generations. I know that I love some of the programming I'm saying has a negative effect, but I'm also an adult who grew up with values firmly intact and I enjoy those shows purely as popcorn entertainment. I just wish kids today grew up as dorky as we did. The dorkier the world is, the nicer of a place it is in my opinion.

Unanimous

Wednesday is the debut of a new show called Unan1mous

The premise is very odd. As I understand it, 9 people are in a bunker and have to decide on one of them winning 1.5 million dollars. And the decision has to be unanimous (titular line!). And another catch, the longer they take, the less and less the prize money becomes. I don't know if there is any rule about not sharing the money evenly when they get out.

It's in a tough time slot though, on the busy Wednesday night at 9:30 p.m. It's after American Idol, which is a positive. But up against Lost and Criminal Minds, which I know are popular and get good ratings.

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've seen

(No audio. Work safe, other than the sight of a guy in a speedo...)

Sydney and Alex

The wanderer

Dad and uncle are in town this weekend and have spent a lot of time with them. And they picked a great time to visit. Little nephew Alex started crawling yesterday! And I got the momentous occasion captured on film. A whole new world has opened up to him now. He no longer needs us fools to entertain him. He'll go get what he wants and entertain himself! He's not crawling in the traditional sense yet...not using he legs or elbows, but he's moving around...

This chick kicks asses for a living

Newly discovered pic of Denirogator! (found by deniro-mom)

Denirogator likes

Some of my favorite things in the world are Rankin/Bass specials, candy, Emmet Otter, Norman Rockwell, The Beatles, behinds, UF, reality shows and movies. I wonder what a psychoanalysis of me would come up with?

Movie Mania

Well I've watched, "Just Friends", "Walk the Line", "Domino" and "A History of Violence" recently.

Domino is one of those flicks where you feel better about the movie after you watch the "making of" featurette. I would almost recommend watching it first. You get to see the real Domino Harvey, who was the daughter of actor Laurence Harvey (The Manchurian Candidate). And you realize that Jacqueline Bissett as her mother in the flick was PERFECT casting. I was glad to see Dabney Coleman in a big movie for the first time in forever. He was doing so well in the early 80's (9 to 5, WarGames, Tootsie, On Golden Pond, Cloak and Dagger, etc) and then dropped off the planet.

A History of Violence was excellent. I hope David Cronenberg does more work like this, a little more mainstream and not so weird. I also hope William Hurt finds more work like his role in this film. Not the normal kind of thing he does either.

New Buddies

So, yesterday I went to two McDonald's and they were out of Shamrock Shake. Tonight I went to one a little farther away that I was pretty sure would have it and I succeeded.
I am now sipping on my shake and watching American Inventor. Speaking of which...who doesn't need a "Bladder Buddy"? It's a big dracula-like cape that you can pee in, in public. For some reason the judges didn't feel like explaining to the guy that there is a restroom in every house or business in the country and there are not too many instances where someone is standing in the middle of nowhere needing to pee. And if they are, they can probably pee just about anywhere and no one is going to care. That's what animals do in the wilderness you know.

Or, how about the "walking buddy". This man invented....a stick, that he calls the "walking buddy". It's a stick. Well he called it "a wand". And you can use this to ward off bears if you encounter one.

The show is not disappointing....

"completely disillusioned"

Good article with Simon about tonight's American Inventor.


"Flakes"

I've finally given in.......I will join the masses

I have obtained and will watch Lost

I think I'll watch....

American Inventor

New show from Simon Cowell (American Idol). Looks like fun from the previews. It starts tomorrow (Thursday).

Tenacious

"King Kong's Jack Black has eloped with his girlfriend, musician Tanya Haden, People reports...."

What does this mean? He put a ladder next to her window while her parents slept and they ran off together?

This little guy and me go way back.

6 or 7 months of wild and crazy times. We could tell you some stories....but our greatest adventures are yet to come.

DVDguy's reaction to last post

Personal Heck

Okay, so why is it that I seem to be one of the few people on the planet, that when I'm rounding a corner in a building, to be fully cognizant and actually expecting that someone else might be coming from the other direction?
I always take a corner just as you might if you were driving a car, giving room if there is another person coming in the opposite direction.
Yet I'm contantly making a right turn at a corner, and running into someone who is taking a left turn corner, but so sharply as to give you no room to pass. And they are always completely shocked to be running into someone.
And yet....and this is the kicker.......I'M ALWAYS THE ONE WHO APOLOGIZES.....while they almost always say nothing, as if to say, "your darn right your sorry, you better beg my pardon...."
Even though they are the ones who are actually in the wrong and walking about as if they are the last human on the planet.

And also, why is it that people have an odd fascination with entering through the wrong door of a double door entrance/exit? You are supposed to use the door on the right whether you are entering or exiting. Yet I'm constantly walking behind someone coming up to a building, and for no reason at all they choose the left door. Or sometimes I'm exiting a building and am being run into someone entering choosing the left door, so I again have to exuse myself for the rudeness of being in their way, since I was foolishly trying to exit through the right door.

Fine, I give up. You win. I will no longer walk amongst you people. From now on I will only travel by Rickshaw pulled by beautiful asian whores.
You people got your way, I hope you're happy.

The blog is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s, The blog is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!

So I've had an idea, that for my next few blogs, I might make various posts, in the vein of other bloggers I know.
Please understand that this is all good natured. Take it as a tribute or "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" or what have you.
I have no idea what I'm going to do, but I think it will be fun.
Let's see if you can guess which parodies (tributes) are of which bloggers.
And also, if I offend anyone in the slightest, please let me know immediately and I will shed a tear and play some air violin just for you.
Just kidding.....I'll keep it light and fun.

She doesn't act this way at work....

I read books

I am now reading TWO books. Just not the fictional kind.

The first http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345338146/002-9234032-2071200?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155 is a book on cliche's. I can never think of a cliche' when I've started babbling a sentence that could use one. I'm like...."It's as hot as.....a very hot day!"

The other is http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0764113658/002-9234032-2071200?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155 basically a vocabulary refresher. I've gotten annoyed recently when a certain word won't come to me. It's not a matter of not knowing the meaning of these words, I just want them more at the forefront of my mind for easy retrieval.

And I know my links are ugly, but it's too much work to make it pretty.

TV Watch

On tonight's "Wife Swap" on ABC, a Jacksonville family swaps wives with an Ohio family. It airs at 8 p.m.

A complete and utter Sham

I had my first Shamrock Shake of the year Saturday. This week, I'll be having more than my fair share of McDonald's meals, since I can only enjoy them one week out of the year.

Inappropriate Booing

The first segment in our look into a growing problem in America today.....people that don't know when to Boo....

(I recommend hitting pause and letting it load, then playing)

Photo from a hijacked camera

What Soda are you

You Are Root Beer

Ultra sweet and innocent, you have a subtle complexity behind your sugary front. Children love you, but so do high end snobs... when you're brewed right. Your best soda compatibility match: Dr. Pepper Stay away from: Diet Coke

What Kind of Soda Are You?

Shamrock Shake Time!!!!!!

Next in line

A list of movies I have and am anxious to watch soon. I did get the 4th Harry Potter yesterday, but I haven't even watched the third one yet. I'll probably wait till I'm with someone that adores it and then watch them.


The Ice Harvest
Jarhead
Lollilove
Domino
Walk the Line
Where the truth lies
Battle Royale
Just Friends
Bus 174
A State of Mind

DorkFest 2006

Las Peliculas

Some of the movies I've watched recently:

Serenity
The Aristocrats
Red Eye
Flightplan
Lord of War
Into the Blue
The Fog
Wedding Crashers
Waiting
The Island
The Haunted Mansion
Eros
Mindhunters
Pulse (Kairo)
Tennis anyone?
Mystic River
Final Destination 3
Man on Fire
Battleground

My point: none

Jsb deserves more respect than this while he pontificates....

Mi Familia

Upset?

Well all morning I've been hearing how "Crash" winning Best Picture is the biggest upset in Oscar history.
Huh?
Before the Oscars I said that either "Crash" or "Brokeback Mountain" would win Best Picture, but I expected "Crash" to win it.

I have to say, if you haven't seen them, "Crash" and a film called "11:14" make a GREAT double feature. Both contain multiple storylines and characters intersecting. Though Crash is extremely serious, while 11:14 is very fun.

Poor little guy, all tuckerd out....

Wait, how am I posting this then...?